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party lovers

September 17, 2018September 17, 2018 King

party lovers

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I am seated at those nice neo-restaurants you find

I am seated at those nice neo-restaurants you find in the nicer side of town. The ones with interiors that leave you in awe. The ones that tempt you to pull your phone out and Snapchat it like a slayq... Never mind.
.

A friend is turning 20. I feel old and young at the same time. Old because they were just teens last year, and I left teenhood before social media 'influencing' was a career.
And young because we share a lot in common despite them being typically teens. .

I am the oldest in the table and you can tell just by looking. They’re in sweatpants and fancy Jordans and I’m in a khakis and those shoes you see there. As they drink cold sweaty milkshakes at 11pm, I’m cuddled up, freezing, sipping latte with my palms around the hot cup. The age difference hangs in the air like a fart. .

When one of the girls tells me she loves my shoes, though, my heart melts and I feel fully young now. I want to joke, "Do you know what they say about men with big feet?" But if you do that these days, they sue or go to HR. Or both. .

So instead I ask her, "Do you love the balls on my socks?"

When I was kid my mom used to tell me that every t

When I was kid my mom used to tell me that every time I’d lie to her, the word ‘lies’ would be scribbled across my forehead. She said it was God’s way of telling moms when their kid was lying. I believed it. .

I didn’t lie much because of it and whenever I did she’d get me because I couldn’t sell it, I believed she saw the ‘Lie’ on my head as I said it. It bothered me so much I’d look myself in the mirror and lie to myself and observe to see if it really worked. It would go like this.
.
“Simon, you won’t eat supper today.” .

No writing on my head. .
“Simon, tomorrow you’ll talk to Joy.” Nothing.

Recently, I drank this mug of Senator and wondered if God had updated the app (as an adult, I think of it as an app) that used to tell my mom whenever I’d lie. If He did, it would mean that now she sees ‘Drunk’ scribbled across my forehead whenever I stumble home tipsy as a fish, or ‘High’ whenever I burn hemp.

It’s just the other day that I remembered this and realized that it was all reverse psychology. There was no app, no scribbles, just my foolish ass being pranked over and over. So next time you’re having a baby, here’s a trick from #simonsparenting101ForDummies

No, we're not gang members. . On cold nights like

No, we're not gang members. .

On cold nights like this, we indulge in worldly debauchery. We're lost souls in the night. Lost in music and women and liquor. Zombies in the night. We look not to be found, no, not tonight. .

Truth is though, we're pretty happy in this photo.

I’ve never heard a more dangerous song. A song t

I’ve never heard a more dangerous song. A song that would stab you if you looked at it the wrong way. A song that always carries a gun. A song with secret handshakes and has gang signs tattoos all over its body. .
If you met this song in the somewhere in Luthuli Avenue, it would rob you, beat you and leave you for dead. .

Pusha and Kendrick are rabid dogs. Kanye West in ‘So Appalled’ calls them ‘dogs that'll chew a f-kin' hole through the wall’. They’re frothing at the mouths with their scathing lyrics and aggrieved delivery. You feel the pain in their words because such callousness can only come from a place of severe pain. Pain of losing loved ones and getting demonized by police.
I don’t know about you but a good song should make you feel, and torment is all I felt listening to this.

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